I'll take some salt with that loss please?

Kills vs Losses

A loss can be more rewarding than a kill in some cases. Sure there is the initial slap of depression when your ship blows up for the gazillionth time. But once that's done you start replaying that confrontation in your head. You gasp when you realize the missed chances and mistakes you made. You grin when you figure out your opponent's weaknesses and see the little gaps he left you. This mental replay leaves you with a sense of achievement, and a glimmer of hope. You think "next time" as you ship up and undock again.

More rewarding? Really?

I said more rewarding than a kill because I haven't had a "deserving" kill as of yet. So far I've been plaguing can miners, mission runners and rookie pilots who wonder into low sec. I read posts of other rebels and their victories and I hope I reach that point someday. Not that I don't look for action elsewhere, I've spent evenings roaming, looking for a fair target. I usually end up taking on more than I can chew, but that's where those awesome losses comes from. That "glimmer" I talked about comes from the knowing that maybe next time I can actually beat the odds, much like my more legendary comrades do.

So why tell you this?

This post is more for me than for you. A little kick in the butt as my morale and patience sinks to the gutter. A little reflection on paper, and who knows, maybe it helps someone else feel better about their own losing streak.

What I've learned from my most recent losses? Two losses comes to mind from this weekend. First one:

Rifter vs. Firetail

I was in a shield tanked rifter when I found a firetail on D-Scan. I hanged around at the local top belt and he landed about 50km away. We burned to each other fairly quickly, but it was soon apparent that he was kiting me with relative ease. He did little to hurt me though and the rats on the belt was having little luck getting damage through too. Still, I couldn't get close. I decided to bail, the little damage he was doing adds up in the end, and my tank wouldn't hold indefinitely.
Your prey getting away is one of the risks involved when kiting, so I don't too feel too bad about trying to get away. I timed his orbit and overheated my afterburner. I was opening a distance and soon he lost point. It was at that moment I realized that I didn't have any celestial prepared for warp and soon he reestablished his point. I tried and tried again but couldn't get out of his point range again. Then I decided it was time to try and get close with some fancy manual flying. I just started when my afterburner melted, I forgot to turn of the overheat. It was at that point that I knew I was screwed. Noticing my reduced speed, he closed distance on me and hit harder. At this point I haven't even aggressed yet. I only had Fusion and Hail ammo in my hold and to this point didn't feel agressing would result in anything more than a waste of bullets. Now however I felt that the right approach would be to go out guns blazing. And I did.

So how could this have gone better?

• I've said it before, but it seems I don't listen to myself: Always carry long range ammo! He was doing almost nothing to my shield, and I'm sure my 200mm AC's could've matched his damage output if I had some Barrage S. 
• Don't run! Why didn't I try to slingshot back into webber range. His bacon would've been overcooked if I could get close. My ship was only worth 5mil, he wasn't doing high DPS I should've at least tried to get in close before I decided to run.
• If you run, make sure it's in the direction of a celestial. Or else he'll point right back at ya!
• Beware of your heat damage. That afterburner dying took away any chance of staying in the fight.
• Don't give up you son of a bitch! Keep trying! Halfway through the fight I kinda made peace with the loss. I went through the motions but my heart wasn't in it.

I have to say though, this was much better than a usual rifter vs rifter fight. There was time to think, to plan your next move. Good fight sir, good fight!

Vexor vs. Gunpoint Diplomacy Fleet

My Vexor just finished a tour of Molden Heath and was still a virgin when I arrived in Heild. After moving and scanning through the system I thought I'd pay a visit to the local plex. Upon arriving I found Epoara, a fellow rebel in a Myrmidon attacking another Myrmidon and Jaguar. Not knowing if this fight was arranged or not, I asked Epoara if she needed help. I got no reply and soon the enemy Myrm was locking on to me. I slow boated towards the fight, deciding that if the Myrm agressed I'd engage.

Enter enemy Oracle who locked and took down my shield in one mighty volley. I turned on MWD and headed straight for the jag. This fight was lost but I sure as hell was gonna try and take something down with me. I spewed out a wave of Warrior II's and rained Barrage S ammo upon this frigate beast! What happened next is a blur, there was just too much going on and the next thing I remember was looking at the Jag's health and realizing that he was 20km away from me. I looked at my drones and noticed only 2 survivors. My 1600mm plate armour had a giant hole in it at this time, but the jag was about half armour himself. I sent another volley of drones towards the jag but before they reached him my Vexor exploded. I docked up and jumped into a rifter to try and give a helping hand to my besieged comrade in the Myrmodin, but as I exited the station I saw her pod coming in.

So what can I learn? Well:

• Duke Thunderhorse wrote an article about situational awareness when there is more than one opponent on grid. I was scrambling to take everything in, but failed to notice the Jag slipping away. If I focused my attention on him I might have at least won the ISK battle (if you don't count Epoara losing her Myrm).
• Watch out for Gunpoint Diplomacy. They travel in groups.
• Don't wait for the shit to hit the fan. Engage! If Epoara had the fight arranged or didn't want my help, she would've informed me. Instead I stood there wondering what I should do and ended up losing precious seconds.
• Pay attention to drones, the Vexor's DPS is directly tied to them.

So what now?

I feel all better already. After writing this I'm ready to jump into a ship and get blown up again. That's not to say I won't try and turn the tides along the way.